Comic Book Depository

As any repressed adult can tell you, comic books are tools of the devil. They rot the mind. Funnybooks are food only for fire. Countless comic books, from the all-American Commie-bashing Captain America to the enigmatic and driven Lone Wolf and Cub, have been relegated by overanxious parents to the depths of the R.D.T.'s filing system, bagless and boardless, to save the creativity and imagination of children worldwide. 

Big Book of Inflammatory Words

Ms. Harper has thoughtfully kept a list of the words that she has found, through exhaustive empirical research methods, most likely to anger people in general conversation. It is obvious why some of the words therein make people so mad, but others are completely baffling. Ms. Harper finds it a convenient place to refresh her verbal sparring skills. Incidentally, Ms. Harper has found that the word that makes Davis most red in the face is "misplaced."

Indian Food Cookbooks

It's a sad fact that 1 in 562,000 Americans die from eating Indian Food. It's the spices and flavorings. They are delicious, but unfamiliar digestive territory.

Missing Persons Directory

No one ever really vanishes without a trace. Not Jimmy Hoffa, not Elvis Presley, not even Ambrose Bierce. Entries include Osama Bin Laden, Amelia Earhart, D.B. Cooper, all of the 5th Beatles, Glenn Miller, Nazi war criminals, that one old lady, Deep Throat, the second gunman, the Zodiac killer, Nicole's real killer, etc.  

Treasure Map Trove

Pirates of the Caribbean were real, and these are the maps to prove it. In fact, pirate treasure maps from all over the world are collected here. (It's just that the western hemisphere guys tended to hide their treasure more often.) Pirates aren't stupid - they make their treasure hard to get. Anyone who tried to follow these maps would probably die horribly. That's why they're here. They're dangerous.