Danger Showcase

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Djinn-Infested Aspirin

No one is really sure how a batch of aspirin straight from the plant ended up with a genie in every bottle. What is known, however, is the genies all have the power of Head Explodey, and don't appreciate any cracks about their residence of choice. UFO enthusiasts speculate the genies are life forms from afar that migrated to Earth, finding the pain-killing, fluffy cotton-filled bottles to their liking.


Tentacula, distantly related to the Pipe Dweller (and even more distantly to the Rabid Mold) is a vampiric monster that lives in the R.D.T.'s basement. Obviously, she is made up largely of tentacles. She's quite unhappy with her state of existence, and doesn't want to talk about it. She likes to be left alone. She has agreed to live quietly in the R.D.T.'s basement, as long as Ms. Harper stays the hell away from her.

The Auto-Osmosis Machine

One of the lesser-known inventions of brilliant but insane scientist Buckminster Fuller, developed shortly before his death. Its original purpose was agricultural: placed in the center of a field, it would move large amounts of water through the crop to irrigate it. However, this is a gross perversion of nature, and its use generally results in tentacle-filled extremes.

Burrito de la Muerte

The Burrito de la Muerte has long been used in Mexico as a form of gambling. The various and random effects of eating this microwavable compilation of foodlike items are entirely unpredictable and often quite devastating. As a result, "Burrito Dens" sprang up from Tijuana to Tapachula, where gamblers put money on what hideous effect might occur on the unfortunate eater. A box was recently confiscated by the border patrol, and turned over to the R.D.T.

The Pipe Dweller

The Pipe Dweller, distantly related to the Rabid Mold, lives in the R.D.T.'s pipes - well, the large ones. He doesn't like to be disturbed one bit. He enjoys swimming, running, picnics, and assimilating interns.

Assorted Plants

These are just the small, tame dangerous plants. There are bigger ones. Much, much bigger ones.

Rabid Mold

A virulent strain of mold, bred in the damp inner recesses of the R.D.T. where the pipes are leaky and the light is dim. Mold often eats a building out from the inside, and its spores can be fatal. So far, the only outwardly dangerous thing about this particular brand of mold is that it's grown tentacles.

Shae Doll

A cheerful, willfull voodoo doll of the Shaeus Jojobaes variety. It is clear that she has a mind of her own, and it's impossible to keep her filed. She's good-natured however, and harmless as long as she isn't crossed.

The Encyclopedia of Death

With its helpfully descriptive title, the Encyclopedia of Death is the resource for those interested in researching thanatology, necrology, taphonomy, morbidology, and murder-and-not-get-caughtology. Complete with illustrations, diagrams, and in-depth "how-to" articles.


Jarman lives in a jar. He's a fakir gone bad - Jarman has principled himself so much as to not require food, water, or any earthly sustenance. However, he also developed mind control powers, the better to help guide others onto his path of enlightenment and zombie-like life. He's been around a while and his real name has been forgotten.

Genevié du Aix

Genevié du Aix lived during the time of Charlemagne, and in fact fought in his army. This is all that anyone knows about her. Somewhat of a playful spirit, she likes to play pranks on the employees of the R.D.T. (though not on Golem). According to her location, she has been in the inventory since the formation of the R.D.T., and any attempts to find out more about her have been in vain. Several of the executive curators have attempted to ask her what's her deal, but none of them speak archaic French.


Mummies of course are all said to be cursed, however once they're in museums they generally do fine. In order for a mummy to be accepted to most museums, however, it has to be famous and authentic, neither of which most of the R.D.T.'s mummies are. Some of the R.D.T.'s mummies actually are cursed, and putting them out for "display" seems to calm them down a bit.

VooDoo Dolls

Long used in Caribbean forms of witchery and tomfoolery, the voodoo doll is often used to extract vengeance upon a living person. They must be properly disposed of, which involves clean white cloth, Saturdays, hallowed ground, burning, and bathing in holy water. Which is really too much work for most people, so the R.D.T. ends up with quite a few of them. 

Araneida Phoneutria Pennyarcada

Identified by the "pac-man" marking on its abdomen, this gigantic wandering spider nests in houses. The males often have "hat" markings on their heads. It is extremely aggressive and intelligent. It injects a neurotoxin when biting, much like a black widow, that induces unreasonable, girly fear.

Thousand-Year Eggs

Considered to be quite a treat in China, these are duck eggs preserved for 100 days in mud, gardening lime, and other questionable substances. An ancient Chinese grandfather brought them in many years ago. The Repository's curator at the time didn't speak Mandarin, but the gist was that the duck eggs were some source of cursed misery for the family, and by making a gift of the precious duck eggs, things would go back to normal. The old man was smart enough to give them to the R.D.T. in case anything else terrible happened.

Ms. Harper's Typewriter

Once killed a man. He hit the "K" key quite hard and the slim typebar snapped when it hit the platen, rebounding into his eye. His grieving widow sent the typewriter away, finished his almost-completed book, marketing it as his "death novel." The widow later changed her mind and tried to get the typewriter back, but Ms. Harper told her she should have thought of that five years ago. To be honest, Ms. Harper quite likes it and has replaced the typebar.


These mugs were a short-lived product of the mid-1940s. In the same vein as the popular Fiestaware, this particular company set out to make a mug set that was lively and had complementing patterns. In order to make the glaze brighter and longer-lasting, lead-based glaze was used. Mothers knowledgeable about the dangers of lead glaze have been sending these mugs to the R.D.T. (or to the U.S. Government, who forwards them on) for sixty years.

Forks Plastic

Plastic forks recently manufactured in the Ukraine. The substance used to make them was created from recycled plastics, which is admirable. However, the water used in the process had been contaminated by a local nuclear power plant's waste water runoff. A dozen children became very ill after eating with them, and only one mother ever figured out it was the forks (though she didn't know why.) 


Don't stick your hand in them. Also, several of them have faulty circuits, and don't shut off. The almond-colored one with the chip on its rim is haunted by a '49er named Billy Sharps, whose nickname came from his fancy knife tricks. 

Snake Jars

Everyone's heard of snake charmers, yes? Well, not only are snakes hypnotized out of baskets, but jars as well. In different cultures no less. They aren't really "dangerous things" any more, since there are no snakes in them, which is why they're on display in the main hallway. They can't very well put jars of acid out there. 

The R. D. T.

It's its own dangerous thing, of course. However, it was brought up to code in the 1950s, and so it has asbestos in the walls. Oooh, dangerous!

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