Danger Showcase

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Dwarf Doors

Only Ms. Harper is quite sure where these go, since she's the only one brave enough to have gone through them. A good bit smaller than normal doors, they appeared one day in the basements. They don't have doorhandles.


Red O'Malley's flip flip. He only has one. Since Red is a ghost, his flip-flop is made of ectoplasm. Since he's criminally insane beyond any point of return, donning the flip-flip will infuse its mortal wearer with psychological distress so great, they will kill themselves. Adios.

Banned Books

Idiot parents and no-good-nicks throughout time have pointed their wretched fingers at great literature and called it dangerous. The R.D.T. has a copy of almost every book ever to be officially banned. It's something they're still working on.

Stake Maker 2000

Originally built by the military, this machine took perfectly good dowels and ground them down into class-A heavy duty stakes. Excellent for pitching tents or an impromptu weapon against dirty krauts. Declassified in 1937 and put in the R.D.T., because the military doesn't trust you.

Jet-powered Silly String

Ultra-compressed Silly String, this stuff can punch a hole through Kevlar. It's a testament to a vampire bat's inherent ruggedness that it only sustains minor bruises (and perhaps wounded pride) when it's attacked with such a weapon.

Nerf Slugs

They're cute, hardly slimy at all, and they squeak when they're poked. However, they smell like rotting corpses, because that's what they eat.

The Library

Otherwise known as the Hall of Knowledge. The Library houses virtually any nonfiction book that has, and hasn't, been published. Topics range from aardvark-Brahman crossbreeding to Zyklon-B manufacture, and everything in between. This room is enormous and completely physically impossible.

Crawling Susan

A distant, more sinister relative of the rampant weed creeping jenny, the crawling susan prefers drier and darker climates. It also requires a nutrient-rich environment, so Ms. Harper lets it stay because it keeps the Big Rat population down.

The Map

The map may look like it doesn't make any sense, but it does. Blame the nonsensicality on the building's layout. It is stained with blood, or possibly coffee.

Red O'Malley

Red is a ghost. He died of grief, rage, and a broken heart. Red has an unhealthy attachment to potassium-filled bananas, which landed him in Sunnydale Home. He was fine until he ate one. Now he thinks he is a cannibal. No one likes him much.

Paolo the Vampire

Paolo has a long and interesting (and occasionally lewd) story that he will tell you, darling, if you ask. Bring a lunch. It's that long. He is best friends with Bob the Zombie. They call each other Vampaolo and Zombob when they are drunk.

Bob the Zombie

Minding his own business is what Bob is best at. However, finding a wide-open Death's Door was just too good to resist. He grabbed his friend Paolo the Vampire (and tried to keep Red O'Malley from following, but no luck) and they went to see what the living world had to offer them. It was coffee.

Really Big Rats

I honestly have no explanation for this, other than... are you really surprised?

Patton the Cat

General George S. Patton, Jr. He was at Carthage, he invaded Sicily, and this time around, he's been reincarnated as a cat. It's no surprise this kitty is so good at kicking ass.


I doubt Golem needs an explanation. It is easy to forget, however, that he is technically a resident and categorized item.

Monkey Deathbots

They're monkey deathbots. What more do you want? OK, fine. Once there was a child genius named Mikey. His wealthy parents gave him everything he ever wanted, attempting to keep him occupied. Unfortunately, he was a child evil genius, who hated his shallow parents with a passion. His parents didn't know until it was too late.

Dr. Mordecai J. Quincey

Dr. Quincey was a prominent British experimenter (I won't say scientist) of the 1500s. He was found to be criminally insane and "a menace," but the Tower of London was full, so they sent him to the New Colonies with Spain to wreak havok on the savages there. He migrated north and lived wild in the woods until the mid-1700s, when he was caught, classified as a "monstrous entity," and imprisoned in the newly-constructed Repository of Dangerous Things. He died some years ago of acute arm failure, but likes to come back and say hi now and again.

The Spiderodent

There's actually quite a happy little family of these friendly, hideous critters. Ms. Harper suspects they're a leftover experiment of Dr. Quincey's. She's told them if she sees them in her office, she'll feed them to her piranha. If there's one thing arachnomice hate, it's piranhas.

Fire Ant Venom

A regular donation to the R.D.T. from Phineas Charles Bollingsworth, who believes that in order to render the dangerous species of fire ants harmless, he must "forcefully evolve" them into being poisonless. He collects them in the Gulf-coast woods and milks them, like snakes. One at a time. He's quite insane, but harmless.


Er... even I'm not really sure what Phil is. I know he has worms for legs, and tentacles instead of bones - he does have a pretty hard exoskeleton already. He got the name "Phil" because that's the only real sound he can make, what with his tongue lolling out of his mouth like that all the time. You try it.


Cigarettes will kill you. But sometimes, you just need one.

The Head Regenerator

The Head Regenerator Mark VII is one of the more recent inventions of the previously-mentioned Dr. Mordecai J. Quincey. The invention itself isn't dangerous - aside from the horror stemming from a live head being regenerated on a dead body in most cases. It's just here because he was locked in the basements while he built it.

Execution Chair

A chair from a prominent prison (I won't name which) that is plagued for eternity by the souls who met their deaths in it. Especially the wrongfully dead ones. The restraining straps had to be removed some time ago, as the chair had a nasty habit of strapping its occupants to itself. Since then, the most harm it can really do is put some dents in the floor, and maybe tip you over if you sit in it.

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